168 hours

I write this whilst watching my son at his swimming lesson – he’s not progressing at the rate I had hoped and I know a lot of the reason for it is that this half an hour is the only time during the 168 hours each week that he spends in the water (not including bathtime but – honestly – it’s a struggle to fit that in too). 

I have been debt free many times during my adult life but have always ended up back in debt, frantically paddling (to continue the water theme) whilst trying to keep up appearances on the surface. I can’t help but think that my bad choices, my bad decisions earlier in my life have directly contributed to the stresses my family and I encounter in the present day. If I’d have sorted out my finances earlier would I still need to work as hard now? Would my son be shunted from breakfast club to school to after school club while I commute and work and commute again? Or would I be able to live out a more relaxed existence and actually take him swimming myself now and again? 
Something has to give, before he gets much older. So I declutter and sell everything,  I complete surveys and redeem coupons. But I still forsee years ahead where I rush around trying to fit everything into those 168 hours, while someone else teaches my child how to survive in this world. Surely that’s my job?  And, today, it feels like a job I am failing miserably at.